China vs the US - who to favour and who to fear?

There seems a Paradox in the way we (Australia - the Govt / the Parliament / the commentariat / and if we accept the opinions of the commentators, the people) relate to The US and to China. Looking at the way they have each engaged with the world over the last couple of decades it seems that they could not be more different from one another.
 
The US has continued on its path of pressuring for Regime Change in any country that threatens the value of the Petro-Dollar, albeit that their action is never labelled that way of course. It always seems to be about a threat to peace or that democracy and freedoms are being denied to the people of such countries. The further action plays out in all of these episodes we see the US Military, its Military Industrial Complex (aid in the form of arms), or the CIA or all three. We accept this process and respond by sending Australians to conflict zones. Australians die. We continue to hold the US as a close ally and yet for all their bellicosity we do not fear them.
 
In the same period China has adopted a path of investing in infrastructure, delivering the Belt and Road initiative, Internet upgrades to many African countries, Hospital ships to the Pacific Islands, and fundamentals like Roads, Bridges and dams in a number of African countries. Yes, they doubtless expect preferential treatment in return. And yes, they have strengthened their military over that time but too date they seem to use it more as a threat than to send it to war. They are not our ally. They are a significant trading partner, an important element of our economy. Yet we fear them.
 
So there’s the paradox. we fearlessly support a friend who takes their guns to town at all times, while we fear a partner who seeks gain from helping others grow.